My Brother's Keeper
by athanharthad
Summary: After the events of Civil War, Tony finds himself alone and full of regret. He may have a chance to redeem himself when he finds that Steve has been caught and Secretary Ross will do anything in his power to make him talk. Can Tony save Steve from Ross and the UN? Tony helps Steve through the trials that ensue because of the Accords. NO SLASH.
1. Chapter 1

The sun peaked in through the window. He forgot to close the curtains again. He blinks against the intrusion, rolls over on his side and looks around the room. Its eerily quiet. But that's the way it was all the time now. A pang of emptiness hit his gut. Was it hunger, or loneliness?

He tries to distract himself by getting up and stumbling towards the kitchen. This feeling in his gut is nothing a little breakfast can't mend. So he puts bread in the toaster and loads up the coffee pot, only to remember halfway through that he's the only one in the tower. So he instead puts a k-cup in the keurig. He sits on the stool at the island watching the steam emanate from the keurig. Thoughts threaten to enter his mind so he picks up the newspaper. Anything to silence the incessant noise that constantly thrums inside his head. He always hated silence. It left him alone with his own worst enemy. There was nothing as ruthless as sitting in the dark tower, hearing nothing but regret and frustration constantly being thrown around his head.

JARVIS thankfully breaks the deafening silence, "Sir, you may want to turn on channel 6 news. It concerns Captain Rogers."

 _Captain Rogers._

"It's not 'Captain' anymore, JARVIS, how many times do I have to tell you?" Tony answered, not looking up from his paper so as not to seem interested. Then again, no one was there to see the flicker of interest line his features.

"I apologize sir. But there is breaking news regarding Mr. Rogers on channel 6."

"Yes, you mentioned that."

Tony's mind started once again racing. It had been three weeks since Steve walked out of his life, choosing Barnes over himself. For three weeks, Tony had been alone with his thoughts, replaying that fateful day over and over again in his mind. Every action, every inaction. He relives that day a thousand times a minute and every time he comes up with the same conclusion: _he had been wrong_. Yes, Tony Stark had been wrong. And not only did he know he had been wrong, but he regretted it more than possibly anything he had ever done in his life. Even more than creating Ultron. It was his fault that the team was split apart and scattered across the globe, too afraid to contact each other in fear of being caught. Although, he had a nagging feeling that they were all together somewhere and weren't trying to contact Tony because they all hated his guts more than anything. Not that he would blame them, because he damn well deserved the hatred. But he couldn't deny that it hurt to admit that this was probably the reality of the situation.

But the person he hated to think about the most was Steve, yet Steve was the person he thought about the most. He hurt him more than anyone else. He betrayed his trust more succinctly and thoroughly than anyone else. Steve was always the person he looked up to the most, though he would never admit it to anyone. He was just a kid who woke up one day in a different century and went on with his life, being great and perfect just as he did in the 40s. He hated that Steve had withstood so much adversity in his life, so much hatred and jealousy from his enemies and he always rose above it, taking every hit along the way. He was the strongest man he ever knew. But the hardest thing to cope with was the fact that he caused Steve so much grief and pain by denying the innocence of his best friend from childhood. Tony knew Barnes was innocent. Or rather, he knew it objectively. On paper, he would be able to tell you that Barnes was completely innocent of the countless assassinations he committed over the years because Hydra infiltrated his mind. But when he saw the footage of him actually squeezing his mother's last breath from her lungs next to his dad's dead body, it was too much for him to handle. He felt nothing but impulsive anger and rage. He completely bowed down to his emotions. But when it was all over, when Steve left with Barnes, he sat on the cold floor in a lot of pain, but in even more mental pain. Again, the realization came to him that everything he did was wrong. Every fist he threw, every curse he spat at the two of them, he wanted to do, he needed to do, but his mind was screaming at him to stop. He knew it was all wrong but he couldn't bring himself to stop. The Truth has a funny way of coming out no matter what. And the Truth has been the only other resident in Stark Tower since this whole fiasco started three weeks ago, sitting with him in the darkness, always close, always visible, always clear.

He was going insane. He needed desperately to apologize, to beg, to plead, to implore Steve to forgive him. But he didn't know how. How could he simply apologize to Steve? Like, hey, sorry I almost killed you and your friend and forced you into hiding and helped the government track down, imprison and mistreat your friends, haha. He could think of nothing to say to Steve that would alleviate the pain and grief that has taken up permanent residence in his heart. He needed an opportunity to talk to him in person.

He did try and call him a few days back. Sure, he had no idea whatsoever what he was going to say when Steve picked up, but he didn't care. It had been a particularly bad night for Tony. He was drunk and sleep-deprived whilst he tried to dial Steve's number, his fingers shaking so hard he had to redial 3 times before he got it. The phone rang 4 times. Then he heard his voice. Steve's voice. As strong and clear as ever. " _You've reached Steve Rogers. Leave a message and I'll get back to you."_

Tony turned on the tv in his kitchen. The local news was practically buzzing with news of Steve's capture. Steve had been America's most wanted man for almost a month now. This was undoubtedly the biggest news story of the year.

"Geez," Tony said in a half laugh. He was reacting to the fact that there were about a hundred cops fully armed outside the building, helicopters circling, and the marines were being called in for backup. "They're _terrified_ of him." who wouldn't be? Everyone saw what he could do in the Battle of New York, Sekovia, and even footage from World War II. Even Hitler was scared of this guy. He was amused, to say the least, at the amount of fear and trepidation that unfurled plainly on every interviewee. From what he could gather, Steve was detained in the building. And they were making preparations to move him out from the building into the armored car.

Tony watched for hours with wide-eyes. He needed to see Steve. To make sure he was ok, that he was alive and breathing. He often found himself clutching the counter too hard. "Alright, what's going on here." Nothing transpired for hours. _How long could it take to move him down to the van._

He couldn't take it anymore. He had to get up and do something or he would go crazy. "JARVIS, I'm gonna take a shower, let me know if anything happens."

"Of course, sir."

Tony took a very long, very hot shower. He played music loud to distract him from the anticipation of seeing what was going to happen to Steve. He knew it wouldn't be good. The price he paid to protect Bucky was a high one. But if that wasn't the most Steve thing he's ever done, he didn't know what was.

"Sir, they are moving him." JARVIS announced cooly.

Tony ran to the closest tv in his living room.

There he was.

Steve.

Right there.

Tony stopped breathing for a second. Steve was wearing a black t-shirt and pants. His hair was longer and he was sporting a full out beard. _Dang, Steve._ Tony had never seen Steve look so…worn. Clearly this last month had been very taxing on him. There seemed to be extra lines of worry around his eyes. He was surrounded by 10 marines, not counting the couple dozen guns trained on him. His hands were cuffed in heavy handcuffs and his legs were chained heavily. His back slouched as he walked very slowly and carefully. When the camera zoomed in, Tony could see bruises and blood on his face and neck. Steve got to the back of the armored car and he was shoved in. Once he was out of sight, the car seemed to shake. Tony had a sick feeling that they had been beating him every time the camera wasn't following him. In fact, he _knew_ that was the case. He'd had enough exposure to the US Government and the way they dealt with undesirables.

"JARVIS, turn off the tv."

"But sir, don't you want…"

"No," Tony barked.


	2. Chapter 2

Days passed and blurred together. He preoccupied himself by playing in his lab, touching up old inventions. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of red; Cap's shield. Tony took it back with him to the Tower after their falling out, but never once brought it out to clean it. It still was smeared with blood and grime.

His phone lit up as his thoughts darkened. _Incoming call: Thaddeus Ross._

Confused, Tony answered. "Hello?"

"Tony! How are you doing?"

"Fine, Secretary, and you?"

"Fine, fine."

Tony bit back his annoyance. Clearly the Secretary of State wasn't calling him up just to say hi.

"Is there anything I can do for you Secretary Ross?"

"As a matter of fact there is."

 _Great, he's gonna ask for money or something._

"I was wondering of you could come down to the compound?"

"The compound? What for?"

"Oh, well, I would rather wait until you got here to tell you. Just know it is a matter of extreme importance. The entire country would be indebted to your service."

"Umm I guess I could fit it in. When do you want me there?"

"Within the hour would be preferential."

Tony noted the urgency behind that last word.

"Can do. I will see you soon."

"Thank you, Tony."

Tony hung up the phone in bewilderment. _Why would he need me at the compound? Wasn't that where they did all their research and scientific stuff?_

He showered and got dressed in the same state of confusion. He rode over to the compound which was about 45 minutes away in New Jersey. He rode up to the site and found it was heavily guarded. A guard stopped him, "Can I help you sir? Oh, Mr. Stark, the Secretary has been expecting you. Proceed to the west side of the building. He is waiting for you at the entrance."

Tony parked in front of the entrance and walked in, wearing sunglasses and a suit. The first thing he noticed about the building was the clean smell. It was entirely repulsive. Everything was white and shiny and quiet. People bustled around in lab coats and business attire up and down the different levels.

Then, a man with white hair and a forced, teethy smile walked quickly towards him.

"Mr. Stark, thank you for coming at such short notice. If you would please follow me."

Tony was whisked away and found himself walking at an uncomfortably fast pace. He was dressed entirely too expensively to start sweating. "Do you mind telling me what I am here for?" Tony asked as he struggled to keep up.

"Oh yes, well," Ross stammered uncomfortably. "We need help with gathering information."

Tony had no idea what that meant. They passed through hallways and doors and descended multiple flights of stairs. "What kind of information?"

"We need intel on the location of James Barnes."

Tony laughed. "You didn't have to bring me all the way down here to ask me that, Secretary. You've been searching for months. No one has a single clue as to where he is."

They passed through more doors, though there were guards scattered along the long hallway they were walking down. Security was tight down here and the air smelled of machinery and sweat.

"Well that's just it, Mr. Stark. We have a major lead on where he could be. We have a chance to stop the Winter Soldier once and for all. The thing is, my people have been hard at work for the past few days but are unsuccessful in tapping into the final answer."

Tony was getting more suspicious by the second. Finally, they stopped in front of a large door that was locked by a touchpad scanner. Ross turned to face Tony. For the first time, Tony noticed that his eyes were unsettled and bloodshot, not to mention his hair was a mess. "Mr. Stark, we have reason to believe you are the only one available to us who can get the information on where Barnes is. Are you willing to help us?"

An alarm went off in his mind. Of course he didn't want to give up Barnes' location to the S.O.B. who broke up the avengers and caused all of this anguish in their lives. Yet, how could he back out now? "I'm not…."

Ross at once put his thumb on the scanner and the door opened. What Tony saw next was beyond unexpected.

A man who looked a heck of a lot like Steve Rogers was laying on a thin mattress on the side of the small, dimly lit room. The look on Tony's face must have alarmed Ross because he quickly said, "I know this is all surprising, but he knows where Barnes is. My people have been working on him for days and he refuses to speak. We figured he may talk to you since he knows you. You are friends, yes?"

Tony laughed at the absurdity of this situation right now. "Yeah, _were_ is the key word here. How do you expect…"

"Just try Stark." Ross spat, suddenly becoming agitated. He turned to leave. "Oh and you may need this. He won't stop."

Tony looked down at the thing shoved in his hand. It was a towel.

Ross closed the door and all at once the silence became deafening. Tony didn't have the courage to turn around. To face the man he had betrayed. The man he imprisoned, beat, hurt, criminalized. He wasn't ready. All those weeks of anguish, wishing to apologize had not prepared him for this moment.

An intake of breath awoke him from his thoughts. He turned and for the first time, saw Steve. He was laying on his side with his arms hanging off the bed. He was too big for the mattress to the point where he had to curl in half to fit. There was blood pouring from the side of his head onto his face. The worst thing about everything was the vacant look in his eyes.

Tony took a step towards him. _Does he know I'm here?_

He took a couple more steps until he was standing over top of him. Steve didn't so much as glance at Tony to acknowledge he was there. As much as it hurt Tony, he knew he deserved it. Besides, iron man could certainly handle a little cold shoulder.

"Steve?"

There was no answer. Tony knelt so that he was eye-level with the super-soldier. Steve kept looking at the floor. He looked beyond tired. His breathing was really slow and labored and his fists were clenched.

"Hey, are you ok?"

Steve said nothing but moved his arms so they wrapped around himself in a tight embrace. He winced and grabbed at his head wound.

"Oh geez, Steve, what did they do to you?" Tony leaned forward and put the towel up to his face, momentarily shielding him and wiped gently. Steve reacted suddenly and put his hand on top of Tony's. He dragged it back down to reveal Steve's bright blue eyes looking right into Tony's. His brows furrowed and it looked like he was trying to remember something.

"You…" Steve breathed out in such a low voice Tony almost missed it.

"Hey, it's me." Tony said with a smile. He rubbed Steve's hair off his face.

Steve was struggling to think and remember. _Why didn't he remember me?_ It was almost as if the effort pained his head wound. He groaned and clutched his head.

Tony wiped away the blood from his face and found the source, there was a freshly stitched gash on the side of his head. It was nasty and very large. It was weird to him how perfectly straight the incision was. Almost as if someone did it with a scalpel…

Tony thumbed over the stitches on Steve's head. They were insufficient in closing the wound properly, so it was bleeding pretty badly.

"Steve," Tony whispered as he knelt lower.

Steve sluggishly blinked his eyes at Tony. He could tell he was desperately trying to focus. For some reason Tony could not look away from his eyes. He had never noticed how intensely blue they were. Sure, there was a flash of green to them, like Zemo said. But to Tony, it added depth and life. Steve was never one to hold eye contact for long periods of time. He had always guessed it had to do with the fact that he always felt out of place; that he always felt an underlying sense of insecurity in a highly modernized world. The only time he ever looked into Tony's eyes with certainty was during high pressure situations; in the midst of battles, wars; when it was life or death. Tony admired him greatly for that because he was entirely the opposite. The only time he was insecure was during those situations. Every other time, he felt as confident as could be, or, at least, that's what he let people believe. He always told Steve to look like he knew what he was doing even when he didn't. Tony was always a weird dad figure in Steve's life since he was still only in his early twenties and hadn't grown up normally. Sure, he was mature beyond his years, but he sometimes missed social cues and looked awkward too often. If Tony had the looks and the build that Steve had… He would be unstoppable. Perhaps it was a good thing that Steve's humility, not Tony's pride, was paired with an unstoppable physique. Maybe that's what Dr. Erskine saw in him.

Tony was awoken from his stupor when Steve lurched to the side of the bed and violently threw up into the small trash can.

"Geez," Tony said involuntarily. He moved out of the way as Steve retched.

He felt utterly useless. What was he supposed to do? Pepper usually rubbed his back whenever he got sick… he sat next to Steve on the bed and very gingerly placed his hand on the super soldier's back. His hand looked tiny compared to the vastness of Steve's shoulders. He could feel his muscles clenching everytime he threw up.

Steve threw up for what seemed like forever, and the last retch was so deep and violent, he fell off the side of the bed. Tony reached out in surprise. Steve was on all fours, shaking from head to toe. He was slick with sweat. Tony had never seen him in such a state. Steve moaned and clutched at his midsection. His forehead dipped forward to the ground.

"Hey there buddy, it's all right," Tony said, not believing a word he was saying.

Steve took no notice and continued to moan in pain. He attempted to sit up and immediately wavered from lack of strength.

Tony rubbed his back occasionally but could do nothing as he threw up relentlessly for hours. He wondered how much more his body could take when he started dry heaving. He became nothing more than a sweaty, weak mess crumpled on the floor of the cell. It wasn't until Tony saw tears fall from Steve's eyes that he decided he had to intervene.

He got up and ran to the closed door.

"ROSS! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM!?" He screamed as he pounded on the door. "YOU NEED TO GET HIM SOME HELP RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR…"

"S'fine…."

Tony turned suddenly. "Steve?"

Steve didn't look up but started to sit straighter.

"Steve, you need help."

"M'fine Tony…" he mumbled with closed eyes.

Tony strode across the room and knelt down next to the fall soldier. "Are you feeling better?"

Steve swallowed hard. And nodded his head. Tony was not convinced. Steve made to get back on the bed and Tony immediately reached out to help. Steve sat on the side of the bed with exhaustion weighing down on his body. He was pale and shaking uncontrollably.

"Thanks, Tony…." Steve whispered.

Tony was taken aback. "For what? As far as I'm concerned I did nothing to help you in the slightest."

Steve huffed a laugh.

Just then, Ross entered the room and beckoned to Tony. Tony obliged after making sure Steve was comfortable.

They stepped out into the Hall as Ross closed the door behind them. Ross looked at Tony and said," Mr. Stark, I'm sorry you had to see that. He usually doesn't start vomiting until much later."

Tony was overcome with anger. "What do you mean 'usually'?"

"This is the fourth day we've tried to access his memories and each time he vomits like this, but it's not usually 'til late at night."

"And how on God's green earth do you expect to access a person's memories?"

"It's a simple procedure that we have had some small success in finding. We place a chip in the patient's brain and….."

"Steve."

"Excuse me?"

"His name's Steve."

"Oh yes, Steve now has a chip in his brain and every day we hook him up to our machinery and access memories. It's amazing really, we get glimpses of his memories through our monitors."

"Mr. Ross. This is highly illegal! You are testing...torturing a human being!"

"Mr. Stark, I know this must be alarming to you since you two were friends and everything…"

"It doesn't matter! If you did this to anybody I would highly object to it! It's immoral! There's laws against doing this to animals much less human beings!"

"Mr. Stark! Captain Rogers has information on the whereabouts of James Barnes. I assure you I have full legality in pursuing any leads we have on the matter."

"Bull crap! I'm taking this to the UN."

"Go ahead and try that Stark. They are the ones who suggested the method."

Tony's heart sank. Perhaps the safest hands were their own like Steve had said.

"And need I remind you, that you are under their jurisdiction since you signed the Accords."

Dang it, this is exactly what Steve was talking about. The UN could not have let this happen! Since when have they become this corrupt?

"Ross, please. You can't torture him for information, he's America's sweetheart. What will the public say when they hear about this?"

Ross took a slow step towards him. "They won't ever find out will they? Or their Golden boy may not be in such good shape will he?"

"Are you threatening me?"

"Yes."

An ominous silence filled the space between them.

"So what is my role in all of this? Why bring me in here at all?"

"Your role is vital, Mr. Stark. Your job is to be a comfort to Rogers. After being tortured for so long, he needs a helping hand. Already, he's been recovering significantly faster than before since you've been here. Your job is to keep him grounded. Without you, he becomes completely despondent. With you, he's calmer and far more responsive."

Tony blinked hard.

"And, if it gives you any encouragement, if you don't do what we tell you to do, we'll kill him."

Ross's eyes flickered. He was a sick, sick man. Could he actually kill Steve? I guess that's what he's been after all along. The government was after Barnes, but Ross was after Steve. He had always had an obsession with trying to control the avengers. If he could get Steve out of the way, he'd have no real resistance.

Ross walked towards the holding cell and Tony ran after him. He was going to have to help Steve get through this. Leaving Ross alone with Steve was not a good idea. He made a decision then and there to protect Steve at all costs.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning found Tony sleeping on the floor of the Steve's holding cell. Anger rose up inside him when he remembered the conversation he had with Ross the previous day. How could he have been so stupid. Signing the Accords basically surrendered any chance at legal action he could have taken to get Steve out of this hell. Now, he was basically a prisoner along with Steve, because if he so much as breathed a word to anyone about what they were doing at the Compound, Steve would pay the price. And besides, he would rather be right next to Steve, rubbing his back through all of it, than sitting alone in his Tower.

He looked over at Steve. The poor guy didn't have a great night of sleep. Even now, he was stirring awake. He opened his eyes and rolled over in his tiny bed so he was facing Tony. Recognition startled him awake.

"Tony?" Steve said, sitting up slowly. His tone implied that he had no memory of what happened yesterday. He blinked his eyes in confusion. "How are you here? This must be a dream…"

"No, no, no, Steve. This is very real. Though I wish it wasn't."

Steve stared at Tony as if the moment he looked away, he might vanish. "How did you get in here? Did they take you?"

"No, Ross asked me down here because…" he couldn't finish. There was an awkward pause.

"Because what?"

He had to tell him the truth, there was no way around it. "Because… well… he wants me here to help you get through it."

Steve slouched. "I see. To help me through the sessions?"

"I guess," Tony whispered. "He thinks you become more responsive when I'm here."

Steve laughed.

"Steve, I hope you know that I had no idea… that if I had known…" Tony looked at Steve for any sign of understanding. He got none.

"Tony, you shouldn't have to see this. It's not pretty."

"Steve, I _want_ to help you. If I can keep Ross happy for at least a few moments while you recover and heal, isn't it worth it?"

Steve stared at the floor. Tony knew this was his chance to say what he's been dying to tell Steve for a month.

"I've been meaning... _wanting_ to tell you I'm sorry about this whole thing the moment you and Bucky walked out. It's been torture…" Tony stopped at his poor, _poor_ choice of words.

Steve sat up and looked at Tony with hard eyes. Tony expected admonition but got none. Steve simply sat there strong-willed. Tony would have preferred the admonition.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"Do you know what they've been doing to me?" Steve said quickly.

Tony shook his head meekly.

"They've been hunting me for a month now. They're so desperate to get to Bucky, they've created their own method to read my memories. Do you know what the first memory they recovered from me was? It was of you."

Tony swallowed.

"It was of you flying that nuke into the portal over New York. I thought about how you sacrificed _everything_ to save all of us. That was my first memory they saw. You should have seen the looks on their faces. They were _pissed._ "

Tony opened his mouth to object, but closed it.

Steve rubbed his shaking hands over his face. For the first time, Tony noticed how skinny he looked. The hollowness of his eyes, the sweat lining his face, the exhaustion weighing on his shoulders.

Tony couldn't take it any longer. "Steve, I don't expect you to accept my apology, but know that I will never forgive myself for what I did and that I know I'm the reason they were able to get you. I should have been there to stop them, not help them."

"Tony, I don't blame you for this."

Tony almost fell over. "What?"

"I don't blame you."

" How can you say that!? How? After all I've done to you…"

" Ross has been at me for months. He would have found a way to get me with or without you."

"I know, but I still…"

"No. Don't blame yourself. This is the corruption of the UN, of the US government. I won't accept your apology because there is no reason for you to apologize in the first place."

"Steve, you can't be serious. If this is your attempt to be a self-righteous prideful…"

Steve laughed, "no it's not. I want to be your friend again: your brother. The past month has been so lonely and I kept thinking about how if you were with me, we would be unstoppable."

"I don't know what to say…"

"Wow! Tony Stark doesn't have words? I think that's a first! I wish Pepper were here to see this." Steve laughed.

Tony hid the tears that threatened to spill. He had been wanting this old camaraderie back for a month and he finally had it. He stood up and walked over to Steve.

"I'm glad we're brothers again," he said as he sat down next to Steve. I'd like to see them try to stop us now."

Steve smiled.


	4. Chapter 4

They heard noises outside the door. Steve visibly tensed.

"Hey, look at me, you are going to be _fine_. I'm right here." Tony said as the door handle turned.

Steve nodded but wasn't completely convinced.

Two orderlies with all white scrubs came into the room. They were much smaller than Steve, but they seemed much more confident than Steve looked. Tony wished Steve would let himself go and fight. It would be so easy…

"Mr. Rogers, if you could come with us," tThe dark-haired orderly ordered.

Steve looked at Tony, his eyes looking for reassurance. He stood up and walked out with Tony following closely behind. The hallway was lined with orderlies and doctors and nurses. They looked unthreatening, but Tony knew that if Steve so much as looked at someone the wrong way, they would pounce. They eventually entered a large room filled with about 10 doctors and 15 nurses. They were all hard at work connecting wires, and hooking things up to a massive metal contraption in the middle of the room. Beyond the machine was a metal chair with restraints that looked as if they were meant to withhold an elephant. The smell of antibacterial spray was intoxicating and suffocating at the same time. Tony felt sick. These doctors were utterly breaking their oaths to protect and promote human life by partaking in this torture.

The orderly walked over to the chair and beckoned Steve to sit. Steve obliged meekly. He took off his shirt and sat in the chair, obediently putting his hands on the arm rests. The orderlies quickly went to work strapping the mighty Captain America down. Tony could sense their feeling of domination and could not understand how Steve just stared at the floor and _allowed_ it all to happen.

Ross entered the room and everything stilled. All eyes were on him. He looked a little crazy with his bloodshot eyes and wiry hair. "Good morning everybody. Today will begin day four of testing our extractions. We are breaking ground people, so keep up the good work, this will all pay off in the end." they all cheered. Tony scoffed. "Mr. Stark has so kindly decided to join our team. Let's get going and show our special guest what we are capable of."

Tony walked over to Steve. His skin was glowing from the bright lights overhead. Steve's eyes were darting around the room. Tony had never seen him look so scared.

"Hey, don't look at them. Focus on something that makes you happy. When it gets bad, go to your happy place. It helps."

Steve calmed slightly, but the orderlies came over and inserted needles all over his arms, chest and neck. Then, they placed a heart rate monitor over his heart while the chair reclined. The machine was rolled over to Steve. A heavy metal piece was placed over his head so that his right eye was covered and all along the back of his head was secured in tightly. Tony saw him open his mouth. He moved closer to hear what he was going to say, but an orderly put a rubber mouth guard in and he bit down hard. His chest was heaving at this point and the heart monitor was already rising uncomfortably.

"Mr. Stark, if you could please move back," a nurse directed. He unwillingly obeyed and stood with his back to the wall.

Ross walked over to Steve and checked the straps and the headpiece to make sure everything was right. He then bent low and whispered something into Steve's ear. Steve didn't show any change in emotion as he continued to breathe hard and fast in anticipation of the pain he was going to receive.

"Dr. Guard, we are ready." Ross commanded.

Immediately the lights dimmed and the machine whirred loudly. The only other sound that could be heard was Steve's screams. He wailed with his back arched off of the chair. It took all of Tony's strength not to cover his ears. Then, monitors descended from the ceiling all around the room with doctors, nurses and orderlies swarming around them curiously. An image flashed on the screen. It was a tall, slender man with blonde hair and blue eyes looking down, seemingly, at them. He looked a lot like Steve in all but the face. He had a sterner, more unkind face than Steve. He was yelling in complete anger. At first, the sound was fuzzy and unclear but once it got clearer it was broadcast over the whole room.

"...good for nothing little pain in the ass! It's all your fault!" the man screamed. He swayed slightly on his feet as if he were drunk. In fact, the more Tony looked at the man, the more it looked like he was completely wasted. The view they had on screen was knocked sideways and shook hard about 5 times before a woman's voice was heard off screen.

"Stop it! Stop! He's only 7!" A beautiful young woman with blonde hair ran into the room. She wore a brown 1930's style dress with an old shaggy shawl around her shoulders. She looked exhausted and starved, but her eyes twinkled with fire. She looked _exactly_ like Steve. The same kind eyes, the same round cheeks, the same curved lips. These must be Steve's parents, and we must be watching this memory from his own eyes. That means… oh that means…. Tony felt sick. Steve's father was abusive. This memory showed his father beating him.

His father turned red in the face. "He's a nuisance, Sarah! We pour all our money into making him better all the time, we don't have any left to feed ourselves!" He rose his fist to strike Steve again. Sarah ran over and grabbed the fist that was meant for her son.

"Have you stopped to think that maybe we could feed ourselves if you stopped spending so much at the pub?! Did you think about that, Joseph?!"

Joseph threw his fist back to his side. His face was contorted in rage. He shoved Sarah to the side and started toward Steve again. Sarah jumped up quickly and punched Joseph square in the jaw, landing him on his side. She ran towards Steve and leaned up close to him so that her face was in clear view. She was stunningly beautiful. "Are you OK, sweetheart? Come on, let's get out of here," she said calmly but quickly. She ushered her son off the ground and towards the front door. "Maybe you can go over to Bucky's house for the night? You'd like that wouldn't you?"

Joseph suddenly came up behind Sarah. She was abruptly thrown to the ground. Joseph scrambled on top of her and hit her repeatedly. Suddenly the view of the monitor was hurtled forward and somehow got on top of Joseph. Little hands came into view and shoved his father hard into the ground. It didn't do much, but it seemed to buy Sarah enough time to get back on her feet. Joseph hit Steve so hard the screen went fuzzy. As everything started to go black, the last thing that could be heard was Sarah saying, "Why don't you pick on someone your own size?! I could do this all day!"

All went dark. The machines slowed and the heart monitor to which Steve was hooked up to was beeping frantically. His heart rate was dangerously high. Tony looked over at Steve. He was no longer screaming but his face was twisted in agony. He whimpered and sobbed and clawed at the restraints holding him back.

Ross went right into screaming orders, "Get his heart rate down, stat! Take off the head piece, _not_ the restraints, you idiot!"

Doctors and nurses were running around frantically, trying to get the situation under control.

"Mr. Stark! We need you over here!" Ross yelled.

Tony shot over to Steve and reached for his hands. "Hey. hey easy big guy. You're ok. It was just a memory. It's all over now. Im right here." after a minute of rubbing his hands Steve stopped struggling and his heart rate slowly declined back into safety. Tony took that as his opportunity to undo the restraints.

"Stark! That's not a good idea. He's dangerous…"

"He's only dangerous because you torture him and force him to relive horrible memories! He'll be fine!" Tony undid all the restraints and lifted a heaving Steve up off the chair. "I think he's had enough for today, Ross." Tony struggled under the weight of Steve's body, but was too strong-willed to ask for help from an orderly. He got Steve out to the hallway and leaned against the wall. Steve sagged weakly. "Steve, stay with me. We've got to make it to the cell first." Steve seemed to understand this as he squeezed Tony's shoulder and took a strong step forward. "That's it, one step at a time." they walked slowly down the long bright hallway. This time there were only a few doctors and nurses walking about, but they were too busy to notice them. _It would be so easy to escape right now…_ tony thought. He stopped and looked behind him. _Could he make it?_ He turned Steve around slowly towards the exit. Two orderlies rounded the corner and walked straight towards them. Tony cursed under his breath and turned back around. There was no way he could take those guys on with a limp Steve. He would have to wait and figure out a plan because, judging by what they just did, Steve wasn't going to last very long.

They finally made it to their cell. The orderlies that were behind them walked into the room with them and provided some trash bags 'for the vomiting' and towels to stem the blood flow that was falling once again from the scar on the side of his head. They left and locked the door.

Steve started throwing up immediately. He fell to the floor and bowed his head in the trash can. He heaved and heaved until he couldn't even keep himself upright anymore. He was so overcome by weakness, he couldn't lift his head over the trash can. Tony crawled over beside him and lifted him so that his back rested on Tony's chest and sat between Tony's legs. Steve's arms hung limply at his sides. Tony put the trash can on Steve's lap and dipped Steve forward so that if he needed to, he could throw up without much effort...if that was at all possible.

They stayed like that for hours. Steve threw up more times than Tony could remember. He wondered if it was humanly possible to throw up that much if he wasn't a super soldier. Any normal person would have died of dehydration at this point. After a half hour with no vomiting, Tony thought it was safe enough to move Steve to his bed so he could get some rest. He slowly, through some miracle, got Steve so that he lay face down on his mattress. His shins and feet hanged off the bed. Tony sat down on the floor and took this moment of silence and peace to reflect on the memory that Steve had been forced to share. Steve had never mentioned his father before and now he knew why. He would always talk about how much his mother loved him and took care of him until the end. It was hard enough to imagine Steve before the serum as an extremely sickly little boy who was constantly picked on by bullies, but to imagine his own father as his biggest enemy of all was hardest to think about. Sarah talked about Bucky like it wasn't the first time that he was a shelter for Steve as a child. Bucky always protected him from bullies big and small. He was one of the biggest reasons Steve was who he was. Without Bucky, Steve would probably have been lying dead in an alley somewhere in Brooklyn. He still had hard feelings towards Barnes for what he did to his parents. Yeah, he knew that he was under mind control and it wasn't really him and blah blah blah… but its still hard being okay with seeing your parent's murderer walk free. It would be extremely difficult to forgive Barnes for what he did, even though he knew in his heart of hearts that he already had.

"Mr. Stark?"

Ross suddenly appeared in front of him.

"What do you want, Ross?"

Ross beckoned for him to step outside the cell.

"I want to thank you for your help back there. I think that Mr. Rogers does much better with you here. He already looks much better than he normally does at this point after the extractions."

Tony rolled his eyes.

"We are going to have to crack down on getting information from him. His court date is tomorrow and we still have no lead on where Barnes could be."

"Why do you care about getting information before the court date?"

"I fear that the state may not let us keep experimenting on him."

"Ohho, 'cause God forbid they won't let you TORTURE him anymore."

"It's not that simple Stark. The UN gave me permission to use whatever means necessary to get the info, but once he is tried for his crimes, they may move him to the Simcoe penitentiary where I have no jurisdiction."

Simcoe was the penitentiary that SHIELD was partnered with. They were an institution that specialized in high profile criminals so their walls were basically impenetrable and were guarded up to the rafters.

"They can't move him to Simcoe! That's where all the guys he's incarcerated have been sent."

"Precisely. I don't like it either, but I think that's where they're gonna put him because it's far more secure."

Tony's heart sank. Steve would get destroyed there! Not only would he be surrounded by hundreds of men who hate his guts, but the prison guards aren't much better. They would feed him to his enemies for fun. He's heard about one too many accidents that have happened at Simcoe. He _had_ to find a way to get Steve out.

"He'll never make it in there..."

"We need to run more tests on Mr. Rogers. Like I said, the court date is early tomorrow morning and we still have no lead on Barnes. Unless…" Ross stopped and looked at Tony.

Feeling annoyed, Tony snapped back, "Unless what Ross?!"

"Unless you get him to just _tell_ us where Barnes is."

"Why in the hell would I ever do that?"

"Because, Tony, you are so keen on keeping him out of Simcoe...this is one way to ensure he never goes there. If he goes to court and confesses where Barnes is, they will most likely keep him here with me."

"Is that really better? You just want him here to experiment on him, Ross. I know what you're about. You've never hidden the fact that you want control over the Avengers. For all I know, you would turn Steve into your own personal Winter Soldier."

"I assure you…"

"No. stop talking. You have no right to keep torturing him like this." With this, Tony turned and entered the cell again, leaving Ross dumbfounded.

Tony walked over to Steve who turned onto his side. He was curled up tight with his arms around his midsection. He looked down and realized his eyes were open. He reached out to wipe the hair out of Steve's eyes. Suddenly, Steve grabbed his wrist and sat up. His grip was so tight, Tony thought for sure his wrist would snap in two.

"Steve! Its me!"

Steve blinked hard and looked at Tony intently. He let go immediately. "geez…. Tony i'm …" He went slack and his head fell on Tony's chest.

"Hey, hey it's ok. Steve, look at me."

Steve looked upwards but appeared too weak to sit up on his own. Steve shuddered slightly. "Sorry, Tony, I thought you were…"

"Your dad?"

Steve didn't answer. "I didn't mean for anyone to see that. I never wanted anyone to see the monster my father was. Those bastards just pry and pry into my head until there's nothing left." He wiped at his eyes and his hand fell limply back to his lap.

"Your mother was beautiful. She looked just like you." Tony tried to change the subject.

"Yeah… too bad she ended up with him. He used to beat her worse because she actually fought back. Especially when it came to me. She was always my protector. I guess that's where I get my inspiration for being an avenger. I always wanted to be just like her when I grew up."

"Yeah, she socked your old man a couple good ones from what I saw."

Steve didn't say anything.

"You know you have to go to court tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"They want to send you to Simcoe if you don't spill the beans on Barnes."

Steve picked up his head, "What?"

"I know, but I guess you're the Undesirable Number One and they can give you the worst punishment there is besides the death penalty." Steve put his head back on Tony's shoulder. Tony's guilt threatened to overwhelm him. "You know, you may not have to go there if you tell where Barnes is."

Steve picked his head up again and looked at Tony square in the eyes. "Never."

"But Steve, it could save you from having …"

"No! Tony, what don't you get about this? He's my friend. I would never give up my friends to save my own skin."

This hit Tony hard. He had done exactly that when he signed the Accords. His own guilt was so prominent that he needed something to stem the flow. The Accords, to him, were the perfect bandage to his bleeding wound of guilt and shame. Now, Steve's future was hanging in the balance because he didn't fight to protect his team.

"Steve, I know that it wouldn't be right to give up Bucky's location, but would he want to see you imprisoned in Simcoe for the rest of your life?"

"I don't care. Bucky means the world to me. He's done so much for me already. I owe him everything. I will never give up where he is."

"I knew you weren't gonna change your mind. You always were so hard-headed."

"You can thank my mom for that one."

Tony laughed.


	5. Chapter 5

The door to their cell opened to reveal Ross and four orderlies. They were wheeling in a tray of needles and medical equipment.

Steve straightened as much as he could. Tony put his hand on Steve's back.

"I hope you've had a nice rest Rogers. As I was telling Stark, you have a court date tomorrow and unfortunately, you _still_ have not told us where your little friend is. So, we are going to have to go to extreme measures to take what you won't give. I assure you as soon as you tell us where he is, I will forego the things I have planned for today."

Steve didn't move, he only glared at Ross. Tony was loving it. Nothing could change his mind and it was something he always admired about him.

"Ok, gentlemen, if you would." The orderlies surrounded Steve and shoved him to a kneeling position on the ground. Two of the them held him upright by his shoulders while the other two gathered different needles from the cart. As they rounded on Steve, Ross explained, "Behold, the newest invention from our lab! These are a series of injections that loosen up the brain. They help stimulate brain activity, making it easier to access more memories efficiently."

"How do you _stimulate_ the brain through injection?" Tony piped up. His inner scientist was confused as to how this could possible work.

"Let me ask you this, Stark. When is your brain the most stimulated? The time when you think about the most in the shortest amount of time?"

"When the fight or flight kicks in, so I guess when I feel I'm in a dangerous situation."

"Right, the fight or flight is one of many different causes that makes our brains go haywire. You know the phrase, "I saw my life flash before my eyes?" That always happens during a highly stressful situation. One of the most stressful situations a human can undergo is extreme pain. So, in these bottles are chemicals that simulate some of the most painful things humans can undergo."

"Again, you are just going to torture him for information?"

"In a way. But this is just a means to get into his memories. We know he won't let pain make him talk, but the pain will help stimulate his brain in a way that will help us search his memories more efficiently."

Steve turned pale as the orderlies closed in with four needles full of brightly colored liquid.

"Wait…" Ross said. The orderlies stopped their advance. "Let's make this more interesting. Mr. Stark, I want you to administer the injections. You'd like to have privacy with your friend, right? There's four needles here. Give a half hour between giving each one. I will come back here in two hours and check to make sure you've done so. If not, I will give him double the amount in a shorter span of time."

Tony opened his mouth to protest but saw that Steve was looking at him. His blue eyes were wide with fear, but he was nodding his head frantically.

"You're sick, you know that Ross."

"I will take that as a yes. I'll see you soon and good luck Rogers."

Steve bit his lip.

Deafening silence filled the room when the orderlies and Ross left the cell. Tony knelt in front if Steve. "I won't do it. You could fake it and I could find a way to get rid of the liquid…"

"No, he'll know. Please. I know it was selfish of me to ask you to do it instead of Ross, but I hate having him touch me. I feel so vulnerable…"

"Steve, if this is your idea of selfishness then I would like to know what your idea of self-sacrifice is. Of course I'll do it, not because I want to, but.. Ok. yeah. whatever… lets just get this over with. I hate seeing people in pain, you least of all."

Steve looked at Tony and smiled. "It's ok, I can handle it."

Tony scratched his head. There were so many things he wanted to say, but he couldn't find the right words. What are you supposed to say to someone whom you are about to torture? He didn't know because he'd never done it before.

Steve said, "Alright let's start. The sooner we start, the sooner this is all over with."

But Tony knew this would not end here.

No, this was the beginning of a very long, very nasty road ahead of them. He took the first needle and looked at Steve. He tilted his head sideways, sending his golden locks away from his neck. Tony knelt closer and stuck the needle in and pushed the liquid into his skin. Steve jerked immediately. Tony backed up before he got hit by a flailing limb. Steve was moaning and jerking. He couldn't control his limbs from flailing out. His face was contorted in agony.

"Steve, what can I do?" Tony asked desperately.

Steve tried to answer but another great wave of pain shook him hard. He was screaming now. Tony hated that sound. It was something he could never in his lifetime get accustomed to. Then, Tony noticed how red and sweaty he was. He reached out and touched his leg and he withdrew it quickly. He felt like he was burning. Steve's hair was damp with sweat. He was screaming louder and louder and he rolled on the ground taking no notice of his surroundings.

"Steve, tell me how to help you!"

"On f...fire…" he grounded out between screams.

"You feel like you're on fire?

Steve nodded. Tony looked around the room for water or something cool he could use to help Steve cool down. The only thing they had was a cup of water and a hand towel. Tony quickly went to work dampening the cloth. He knelt down next to a sprawled out Steve, and he wiped his brow with the cloth. He knew he was ultimately doing nothing to ease his pain but it was better than doing nothing.

After 15 minutes of useless work, Tony stopped. He poured some of the liquid down Steve's throat, but he couldn't keep it down. His body was so tense with pain, he couldn't ease the water down his throat. Sweat was pouring off of Steve as he trembled and gasped for relief. Tony had never seen him in such a state and it scared the hell out of him.

Another five minutes passed and found the room a little quieter. Screams turned to moans. Flailing turned to shuddering. The poison was wearing off slowly, but they only had 10 minutes to recover and get ready for the next one.

Steve recovered enough to kneel on all fours. He was gasping for air. Tony gave him water and he drank greedily. His temperature was slowly coming back down to normal. "Wasn't so bad."

Tony couldn't contain the laugh that spat from his mouth. "Wasn't so bad huh? You're full of crap, Rogers. You don't need to pretend with me. I know that hurt like the dickens."

Steve smiled. "Ok, you got me. That wasn't fun."

Tony clapped Steve on the back. "So which one will it be now?" Steve looked to the tray filled with the remaining three syringes.

"You choose."

Tony picked up the green one. "Green is Pepper's favorite color." He silently admonished himself for acting like this wasn't a deadly poison and wasn't about to inject it into Steve's body.

"Alright, go for it. I'm ready," Steve said confidently. He sat on the ground and prepared for the worst.

Tony knelt in front of Steve. Again, he tilted his head sideways so Tony could have a clear shot at his neck for the injection. He administered it and threw the syringe away, waiting for the onslaught.

This one took a little while to get going. Steve first noticed it in the way that his muscles were clenching at random. He thought nothing of it until it became more intense. He was cramping with an intensity that made his bones shake. Tony could see his muscles bulging and immediately ran to massage the worst of it out. He primarily focused on his chest because he feared the muscles around his heart would constrict. He rubbed and pulled at Steve's skin as he quaked and moaned in agony. Steve clutched at his legs as they locked unnaturally. He tried desperately to smooth out the muscles in his thighs, but his arms and hands were also constricting harshly. He was thankful Tony was massaging his chest because he knew that he wouldn't have lasted very long without his heart getting a helping hand.

"It's ok, it's ok. I think your chest stopped cramping. Where else is it bad?" Tony asked.

Steve couldn't answer, he only clutched at his legs. Tony went straight to work rubbing and massaging Steve's thighs, and then his calves. It was hard work keeping a super soldier's serum-enhanced muscles from breaking his own bones. That is, until he heard a crack.

Steve cried out and cradled his hand. The muscles in his hands were constricting so badly, his bone snapped. "Geez!" Tony shouted.

This was something out of a nightmare. Steve's own muscles were his biggest threat and they were quickly turning on him.

Steve's moans echoed off the walls in the holding cell. He curled in on himself and he squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't remember the last time he was in this much pain. It felt like all of his bones were on the brink of being broken in half. A particularly bad muscle spasm hit his back and Steve cried out helplessly. Tony heard another crack. Steve tried to stifle the screams that threatened to escape. Tony lifted Steve's shirt to examine where the sound came from. He found it immediately where the black and blue blood was pooling underneath of his skin near his lower back, along the spine. Steve shuddered violently.

"You have to lay still. You hurt your back pretty bad." Tony said, stilling the soldier underneath his hands. He looked at the clock on the wall and realized they were only ten minutes into this injection. Frustrated, Tony asked, "What can I do to distract you?"

Steve looked up at Tony, the pain very evident in his eyes. "Huh?"

"Oh come on Rogers, there has to be something that could help keep your mind off this. How about you tell me about your favorite childhood adventure? Your favorite movie? Favorite song?" Tony glared at Steve. He so desperately wanted to help and right now this was the only thing he could do. But the more Tony saw Steve struggle, the more he realized how truly helpless Steve was becoming with each passing minute. Another particularly bad spasm hit him in the midsection. "Oh no big guy, we aren't having you break any ribs now." Tony methodically massaged Steve's abs as the captain rode out the wave of pain. The spasm came back with a vengeance and Steve tried to curl in on himself. "No, stop! Let me help! Come on, Steve work with me here." Tony rubbed deeply for a while until his hands ached. He never in a million years thought that he would see Steve in such a vulnerable state, yet here he was, literally keeping his captain from breaking. He didn't like it. He didn't like it one bit.

"I can't… Tony...:"Steve said breathlessly. He could do nothing but lie on the ground in a shuddering heap, helpless to save himself from the war that was being raged in his body. He was completely dependant on Tony who was the only thing that was currently keeping his ribs from snapping. It hurt like hell when Tony rubbed his hands over the muscle cramps, but he knew he needed it.

Tony tried to ignore the raw pleas coming from Steve, but it was more than he could handle. Steve was supposed to be the strong one. _Shouldn't this be the other way around? Shouldn't Steve be the one keeping everything together, telling me it's gonna be ok?_

"It's ok Steve. It's almost over." The moans were unceasing and Tony had to make it stop. So he decided to do what Tony Stark does best; talk.

"Rogers, did I ever tell you about the time when I was captured and held hostage for basically an eternity in the Middle East? No? Well, you are in for a shocker."

Steve continued to shake and moan throughout the whole story, but by the end, he was getting visibly better. His body stilled and slowly got feeling back into his extremities. Tony carefully examined Steve's hand and found that it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be, not that that meant anything, he wasn't a doctor. He got Steve to lay on his stomach so he could see his back. It looked bad with all the bruising around his spine. "How does your back feel?"

"Hurts." Steve responded quietly. Steve never admitted when he was hurt, so he must have been in a lot of pain for him to say something about it. Tony felt a bump and realized his spine was probably cracked, if not broken. He couldn't tell. Again, he was not a doctor.

"Your back looks bad. Try to lie still for as long as you can." as he said this, Tony realized how stupid he probably sounded.

"I'll try." Steve said. He looked completely exhausted. He had bags under his eyes and stress etched into every feature. He let out a deep sigh. He wasn't trying to alarm Tony, but that's exactly what happened.

"Are you ok? I mean, ignoring the fact that you've had two different poisons coursing through your body for the past hour."

"I'm fine."

"OK, we're not going to lie are we? I want to help you. That's what I'm here for. The least you can do is tell me how you are."

"Tony, I'm really fine. You don't need to worry about me."

"Rogers, you are still lying to me. I can _see_ exhaustion on your face. I know you've been through hell and back. Tell me what you're worried about. And don't tell me it's nothing because I can see that it's not nothing."

After a pregnant pause, Steve looked up at Tony, "I'm worried about the trial tomorrow morning."

Tony waited for him to continue.

"I'm worried that they will find Bucky through my memories. I know it's in there. I've been doing my best to hide it from them, but I know they might find it. And if Bucky is found because I was too weak to stop them from taking it, I don't think I could live with myself."

Steve tried to roll onto his side, but hissed in pain from the stress on his back. Tony knelt closer to still him. "You know, when they try to access your memories again, they may be able to pry into your mind and try to take it from you, but I know you're stronger than this piece of crap technology they're trying to pass as scientific research. You have to steel your mind against it."

"How?" Steve asked.

"They are trying to _take_ and _torture_ and _force._ The very essence of their little experiment is based on hatred and pride. They think they can do whatever they want with you. You are their prize and the more they break you down, the stronger they feel. You need to fight the hatred with they only thing that can overcome it."

"And what is that?"

" You can block their prying, you can counter their hatred by thinking of happy things. If you think of a happy memory, that's what will be at the forefront of your mind, hence, that's all they will be able to see. And as for tomorrow's court date, you just leave it to me. I will find a way to get you out of there, I swear on my life, I will."

Tony and Steve held eye contact for an eternity before Tony realized it was past due for their next injection. Steve remained unmoving and Tony guessed it was probably because his back was hurting him so badly.

Tony got up and took the third needle, sliding it into Steve's neck once again. He looked disparagingly at Steve, but the super soldier gave a weak smile in return, assuring him it was ok. Not sure what this next injection was going to go after this time, Tony stood nervously over Steve, watching him intently with every passing second. When Steve started clutching at his chest, Tony feared the worst. He was having trouble breathing and started gasping for air. At first it wasn't bad, but after a few minutes, he was acting like he was going under cardiac arrest. He could only take gulps of air every twenty seconds because his heart was under attack. He pulled and clutched at his shirt so hard, it ripped open, revealing deep purple veins leading to and from his heart. His eyes were filled with panic, because with every gulp of air came the fear that the next one wouldn't come. With so much stress on his heart, Tony wondered if it would keep beating within the next half hour. _Would Ross risk him having a heart attack right before he was going to a nationally televised court date?_

"Breathe, Steve. Nice and easy."

But Steve couldn't match Tony's slow, steady breathing pattern. His heart was beating out of his chest and his breaths sounded more like gasps. Tony became startled when he noticed that Steve's lips were turning blue and began convulsing. _Heart attack._

"Oh no no no no no! Don't do this to me! Oh… what do I do ? What do I do? Steve!" Tony had no clue what he was supposed to do, so the only thing he could think to do was massage his heart like he had done when the muscle cramps were at their worst. It probably wouldn't do anything, but at least he was trying to do _something._ He bent down and listened to his heart, it wasn't beating anymore. Steve settled and became eerily still. "Steve! Come on! Breathe!" he said as he slammed his fist into his chest. He breathed life into his lungs and checked again for a pulse, but there was none. "Come on!" he said as he slammed and slammed and slammed, willing him to breathe on his own, when Steve suddenly lurched forward and gasped for the air that escaped him. He coughed harshly. "Steve! What… don't do that to me ever again. Holy smokes, Rogers," Tony said breathlessly.

"What just happened?" Steve asked, letting his arms collapse at his sides.

"'What just happened?' You just died on me, that's what happened."

Steve could say nothing as chest pains pierced his heart over and over. He continued to gasp and beg for air. Tony, sensing his distress once again, gingerly lifted Steve off the floor and sat behind him, so that Steve's back was leaning against Tony's chest.

"Listen to my heart, Steve. Breathe with me. In and out, in and out." Tony placed his hand over Steve's heart in a desperate plea to calm his raging heart. When a particularly bad pain hit his heart, Steve squeezed at Tony's pant legs and almost ripped them like he did his shirt. "Easy, easy," Tony soothed. Steve was fighting for his life and Tony wasn't so sure he was going to make it through to the end. The super soldier serum was a wonderful thing and it has saved Steve from many an illness, but with so many things happening to him recently, it's a wonder he has survived all of this. Steve always told him, 'I can take the hits, that's what I was made to do.' But Tony never liked that answer. The guy needed to stop walking around like a giant punching bag. Just because he can handle it, doesn't mean he should go through it. He glared at the last needle sitting on the edge of the table. The thought of having to give it to Steve was making him sick. He looked down and saw Steve's eyelids fluttering. Sweat had beaded at his forehead and his cheeks were flushed. But, the moment when Tony decided he could not in his right mind give Steve the last injection was when he heard Steve crying. It was soft and he almost missed it, but it was there and it was haunting. He looked down again and saw tears streaming from his eyes. Steve took whatever strength he had left to wipe them from his eyes, but Tony caught his arm before he could reach his face.

"It's ok. You don't have to hide, it's ok." Steve's hand shook as Tony gripped it. "I'm not giving you the other injection. I don't care what Ross says." Steve tried to sit up, but fell back down in a gasp. "Don't worry about it, I'll take care of everything." Steve was too weak to interfere or try to talk Tony out of it.

After Tony made sure that Steve was breathing easier, he carefully laid him back down on the ground and walked over to the table. He lifted up the needle and looked back at Steve, whose eyes were wide. Tony quickly jabbed it into his own neck and pushed the liquid into his veins. He was instantly hit with a burning fire and he fell to his knees and gasped. The only thing he remembered before he passed out was Steve calling out his name.


End file.
